January 2010
14 posts
Ways I have killed fruit flies in the past week
Dustbustered them out of the air
Trapped them in wine glasses using saran wrap (and then put them in the freezer)
Built a trap out of a paper funnel and vinegar and a jar (and again with the freezer)
Made a trap out of dish soap and vinegar so they drown
Bought an $8 dollar trap from Cole Hardware in which they drown more effectively
Used tissues and great reflexes to kill them manually
...
I can’t stop thinking about the woman who tore the Picasso.
Do I sound crazy if I confess that I’ve literally had nightmares about similar scenarios? In these dreams I’m in a museum surrounded by people who won’t stop touching the art, no matter what I say.
In life, I am that person who goes up to little kids and makes them stop when the guards aren’t paying...
I do not like waiting.
I’m prone to making dramatic statements that feature the word “never” in attempt to forecast what will (won’t) be.
Yesterday I mailed my final application to grad school. 15 applications sent on their merry way!
And now I wait for the next three or so months. And try not to read message boards or obsessively check the site that posts acceptances as...
“He’s not a buck ten soaking wet with his boots full of quarters.”
– The commentator for PBR Bull Riding this morning. I’d rather watch bull riding than any other spectator sport, hands down.
Last night I witnessed a dead cucaracha spawning.
Today I have a stomach bug.
Coincidence? I think not.
I have this bad habit of reading blog posts about articles instead of the articles themselves, but this article on epigenetics is worth the full read.
Essentially, epigenetics is about how we can change how our genes act without changing our genetic code.
For instance:
We all know that you can truncate your own life if you smoke or overeat, but it’s becoming clear that those same bad...
“Where are you? The bowels of a pinball machine?”
– My dad on our phone call just now, commenting on the slightly aggressive ambient music playing at my local cafe
Death to La Cucaracha
Fabio (the exterminator) is my new favorite person, for the following reasons:
1) He’s totally on board with calling them cucarachas.
2) He’s an entomologist and knows everything about every bug and why they are each “amazing.” Scientifically speaking, of course.
3) He also has a sadistic side and once microwaved a cucaracha to see how it would react. N.B. – Although it...
Every time I walk into my apartment, I think I’m going to see a post-transformation Gregor Samsa lumbering around my kitchen.
This little problem of mine has uncovered entirely new levels of neuroses I didn’t even know I was capable of:
Exhibit A) I am pretty sure this is the perfect opportunity to try out Priceline and get a hotel for the next night or two.
Exhibit B) I am...
There are three cockroaches in my dishwasher and I am thisclose to checking into a hotel. Or moving to Antarctica.
I am giving Fabio, my building’s exterminator, his wake-up call at the crack of dawn tomorrow.
